So I just read through my old blog from Xanga. I started back in 2004 and wrote through the middle of 2009. There were some pretty serious large breaks in there but the span of time covered is still the reality. I found a couple of themes throughout indicating that I have a few areas in life that I STILL need to work on. Some of the entries made me giggle. Others embarrassed me that I had written them! A few encouraged me. Predominantly the entries reminded me of what God has brought me through. His faithfulness is incredible. The many times I was afraid or excited about various situations and yet, every time God brought me though.
I maintained a strange overly happy persona for over a year and eventually started being a bit more real. But no matter what I wrote about or how I was feeling, it was God who remained the same. That's very sobering to me. I went through college, multiple jobs, boyfriends, roommates, various challenges, etc. God remained faithful always drawing me near to Him. After reading all the entries, I also decided that I am a complete nerd...but that's okay too.
I find it so easy to forget past personal history with God and people. I tend to gloss over history with a single statement or feeling based comment. But each day is full of questions and various journeys. My current journeys seems so confusing, but the past ones did too. Looking backward it seems so simple but living through it was s real challenge. I'm glad I looked back, it brings some clarity to current heartaches.
Life post-college has been a huge reality hit to the face. It's caused me to have a bit of a cynical view on my college hopes and dreams but they were all a part of my journey. Reality has caused me to walk through some serious valleys but again, God always brought me through. I've seen God mature my faith often times through the very struggles I have despised. Come what may, I must follow Jesus.
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