Trust or Terror

Life has been feeling an awful lot like a test of balance.  I look down and find myself walking on this super tall high wire with nothing but death-defying space between the ground and myself.  The only thing between sudden death and me is a very thin wire.   As long as I maintain proper alignment, doing the exact right things, it will be okay, or so I hope.

Photo Credit: http://www.thebettermom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/tight_rope_walker_530w13.jpg

People treat life in this way quite a bit.   We act as if we can just figure out the proper life algebraic equation, then we can achieve the results we want. While  y=mx + b and can define the slope of a line, we are desperate to figure out the equation that can help us achieve the particular life outcome we are seeking. 

Photo Credit: http://mathforum.org/cgraph/cslope/pictures/intercept/blueslopeonethird.gif

As if our lives could truly be graphed, predicted, or controlled!  Life is a whole lot messier than that!  It is actually far more beautiful.  If there is one thing we can learn from our friend Frodo Baggins, it is that the adventure of life is far from a tightrope of clinging to the right steps.  It is characterized by a willingness to both begin and continue the journey.  Once a journey is begun, friends come along, and together choices are made with resulting outcomes.  But not every choice can be defined as the right choice.  No, it is the willingness to journey forward that is important.  Sometimes there are miraculous rescues, terrible losses, and anecdotal fun that become characteristic of such journeys. 

Photo Credit: http://meonthemovie.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-lord-of-rings-fellowship-of-ring.html

So, I too journey forward.  This week, I put notice at work.  Curative will no longer have this employee effective January 3^rd.  And, for at least a short while, I will no longer have a regular paycheck.  Who is my provider?  The Lord on High.  But it sure was nice seeing Curative’s name in my bank account every other week for the past 5 years.

Each day is a decision.  Will I trust the Lord today, or will I live in terror and fear?  My enemy takes every opportunity to threaten me with death and despair and he has plenty of material for accusation.  Sometimes the choice between trust or terror is made multiple times a day.  Some days are better than others.  But God is always on the throne and He is always willing to meet me even in my messiest moments.

http://www.steamboatsmyhome.com/blog/mud-season-in-steamboat-springs-co/

And so this is the lesson He teaches me:  His love, providence, and care are not dependent on the steps I take on my imaginary tightrope.  There is no tightrope for the people of God.  The God of Moses, Jacob, Daniel, David, Mary, Peter, Paul, Martha and all the rest saw His name glorified and His purposes revealed through the mistakes and successes of His people.  The God of Stacey is that very same God.  You see, it is not about the person that trusts God, but it is actually about The God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever, who people have found trustworthy for centuries.  This God who has revealed his grace towards us time and time again.

I love Him, more than words could say.  I’m so glad He rescued me from the tightrope of a works-based lifestyle.  I’m thankful for the kingdom of grace that allows for the beautiful adventure He has given me and I’m amazed at His story of grace that has characterized my own life and the lives of so many around me.  I am where I am today because of Him and tomorrow will be the same.  Though situations may declare that I have failed and faltered – it pales in comparison to His ever-present Goodness and Grace.  The question is not – have I failed God today?  But rather, God – where are you leading today?   I seek to follow Him, knowing that through the trail may not always be simple or easy, I will never be left alone.  Mistakes will be made, but better than a fancy gps phone that can find a new route – He always has a way for the journey to continue even if it means fording a river.  The fallen trees along the road often bring me nearer to Him, and that is far better than “getting it right”.

Photo Credit: Stacey Beckman

Do not allow despair to overwhelm or overtake you.  Choose in this moment to trust, and if you have to, in the next moment again.  Allow the King who gives peace in all circumstances to guide and protect you.  May you have grace on your journey and may His Kingdom come.

For further reading:

Philippians 4

Psalm 91

Psalm 34

John 10

 

Alone with Jesus…a take on the adulterous woman with Him

The Great Teacher, the God-Man, Divine, yet Present, He has healed many, but He won’t on this day.  He had readied Himself to teach, but now they bring me before Him.  Pointing fingers, raising up voices of condemnation, threats against me for what I have done.   They see me worthy of death, but today on this day, they stay their hands.  They want this great Jesus to sound the alarm of my execution.

For What I’ve Done. 

I have no defense.  Even if I did, there is no one who would stand with me.  I am caught, alone, ashamed, and very much afraid.  All I can do is wait for this Man to agree with these teachers and condemn me.  My life has been a half-life, unworthy, a life lived against the law of God, and I am unclean.  I know it, I can feel it within. 

As I stand without hope, this Holy one, yes I’ve heard of Him.  He speaks with authority.  He begins to write in the sand.  And, then he speaks, I cringe.  Suddenly, I watch as my accusers lower their heads and walk away.  One by one, my accusers have left and I…am…still…alive.  As I begin to attempt to replay in my mind what words he spoke to the crowd, he addresses me directly.  He pronounces no condemnation over me, advises me to leave my life of sin.  I look into His eyes, all I can see is love.  I see a resolve within Him that I cannot understand.   How can He, a man who teaches above the law, withhold condemnation?

So here I am, alone.  My accusers have left, the only one apparently worthy to accuse me, has chosen another way.  He withheld condemnation, stayed my execution.  He has given me a new chance at life, and now I have a choice. 

Will I choose to live a full life, a good life or will I give into the voice of my accusers and stay in who I’ve believed myself to be, a sinner without hope?

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It’s been some time, but there He is again, this Jesus.  Except now the crowds are accusing Him.  He’s lifted up and just gave His last breath.  The world now holds theirs. 

3 days have passed.  This Jesus is ALIVE.  I understand. He died in my place.  For Me.  Oh to live a life worthy of the gift He’s given. 

Free.  Not onto myself, but onto Christ.  Silence the voice of my accusers, and the voice from within, I will follow the life that He lived.  I will follow Jesus.  He gave His life, I will live accordingly.   

For further reading:

John 7:53-8:11

Phil. 1:27