It's raining outside. Feels fitting for my heart is heavy. I do not believe God would withhold a precious gift to his son or daughter without a greater reason behind it. God grants many wonderful gifts to his children. He is my heavenly Father and just as my earthly father wouldn't withhold a gift he could provide, neither would my heavenly one. So it is no use to fret and wonder why I am living in the current circumstances that I am. Clearly, this is where God has me in this moment. Why is acceptance so hard? Especially when my basic needs are provided for. What a joy it is to have shelter, food, family, friends, and a job. I am so beyond blessed yet it feels so easy to look around and see what is absent from my life. Instead of looking towards the absences or lacking places in my life - I should be focusing on the wonderful gifts. Even the ability to write my thoughts out on this blog is a gift. Still, my eyes drift to the lack. Oh Lord, lift my eyes and my heart.