Waiting

I am such a fickle little human being. One minute I could be jumping around excited about my BRAND NEW BED SHEETS. They are beautiful. I haven't purchased a new bed sheet set since the beginning of college. That's about 8 years. I'd say it's ABOUT time.

But the next, I can sit here despondent. That's right a person who has lost hope. Seeing as this is a public blog, I will not fill you in with the details. The reality is, I will come out of this feeling. I can predict it will happen relatively quickly in a day or two. But still, it's painful and I would like it to go away right now.

I long for the joyous feelings of worshiping my Lord and reflecting on who He is. So, I sought the quick fix. I prayed with my roommate, picked up the Bible and read several pages, read a devotional book, and waited. Nothing. To quote Derek Webb, "I don't want the Father, I want a vending machine". Comfort and Peace please, and make it speedy. I will pay the required price, slaughter the calf, make my sacrifice by doing the expected outward actions, but I expect my request to fall neatly into my hands.

But the God I serve is not a genie or a vending machine. He is living and desires a relationship with His people. No joke, I opened up the Bible and pretty clearly heard God comment on the length of time since I had last opened it. Unfortunately, it's been awhile since I opened His word for the purpose of meditating and hearing from Him.

So here I sit. Because He chose not to give comfort at this moment. Because instead, He wants my heart, my trust, and my all. Because of His love, He will not settle for my half-hearted attempts at winning His relief of my pain. No, instead He calls me to seek after the Giver and not the gift. For in the absence of the gift, I begin to seek out Him. For He is comfort. His wisdom is amazing to me. How can I not throw away all of my foolish attempts at salving my own wounds? He IS the balm of Gilead.

So in this moment I turn my attention to my God: My Savior, My Comfort, the very lover of my soul. I repent of my foolish attempts at the quick answers and embrace my God. Sleep will come quickly now, as I rest and wait upon Him.

I share this with you, so that you will know the joy of turning your attention to the God who IS everything that you seek.

Waiting!

Okay, I've allowed myself space to write. Now I need something to write about.
Alas, I wait and continue to wait for inspiration.
I wait for something to passionately move me. I wait for just one line! One line will flow into the next. But nothing. Song lyrics and verses from others crawl across my mind. This is unacceptable. I must write something original. Perhaps not original topics, but I cannot fill a blog with song lyrics (well at least not unless they are my own)!


Waiting


Waiting


Waiting


Waiting is the reasonable sign and all together necessary reminder that inspiration and the brilliant flow of words are not mine to possess. Rather, the creativity that flows within all of us is a gift. A precious gift that we must understand by the nature and definition of a gift is a free object or idea provided to us by someone. What we are given in this life is nothing that we are entitled to. Life is not our entitlement. Happiness is not an entitlement. Possessions, relationships, purposes are not entitlements. Living in the grand USA, we get confused about that. But trust me, you are entitled to nothing, nor am I. We are created beings. We have only what we have been given.

Thankfully, we have a good and loving Creator who enjoys giving good gifts to the very ones He created. Praise the Lord, for He is very good! He grants inspiration to the writers, words and speeches to those who speak, and images to the artist. I promise you this, whatever you lack - seek His face for it! You will not be disappointed. At times, you will not receive what you want, but you will always receive what you need!

Sometimes it's easy to acknowledge the need to wait, but other times it feels torturous! But we spend a lot of our time waiting in life. We wait for winter to end, we wait for our paychecks to arrive, we wait for the child to walk, we wait for the right opportunity for a job to come along, for our degree to be finished, for our upcoming vacation, to meet the love of our life, for individuals to be free, and then we wait some more. It seems at least a part of the very definition of humanity is to wait. Some do it better than others of course but like it or not, we wait.

Let us not wait in vain, but let us wait and trust in the Giver of all good gifts. And while you are waiting, you may be surprised by what you receive! After all, I just finished post number two while waiting for inspiration! :)

Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!

- Psalm 31:24 (ESV)