Letting Go

If you had the chance to succeed at doing nothing or have an uncertain outcome to what you want to do, which would you choose?

It's obvious, isn't it?  Even failing at your own dreams is better than never finding out if you can achieve them, right?

The trouble is so often we choose the first.  We so often refuse to start.  Dreaming without ever putting action to reality is SAFER then venturing out.  Safe is not the same as good.  Safe generally does not get teamed up with the word adventure.  Who really wants to get to the end of their life and say - "I lived too safe, I never took any chances."  Without taking risks we are left with only the mundane.  While many of us may have settled for mediocrity, very few would say they desire to live a mediocre life.  That's why kid's dreams are usually big - they want to be a firefighter, superhero, or a doctor.  How many of us are living our childhood dreams?  A few, true.  But many go onto choose another path.  Sometimes for great reasons, a new calling or dream, but other times because the challenge to getting there is simply not one they are willing to take.  For a long time I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, that is until I decided Science and I wouldn't get a long.  I gave up that dream as quickly as it came when even the slightest adversity hit.  Now, I like what I'm doing now so I'm glad I made that choice.  But I wish I had not given up that dream because I hated science.  I wish I had given it up for the passion of helping people.  

Safe is not what Jesus called us to.  Following Him always means risks.  But it is in the risk of losing everything, you find true life.  Choosing the safe path is often born out of fear.  If you don't believe me, read this parable: Matthew 25:14 - 30.  The parable of the talents.  The "it" Jesus is referring to in verse 14 is the Kingdom of Heaven.

14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants[a] and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents,[b] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.[c] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Investing your life into Jesus' Kingdom will involve risks.  Sure, it doesn't mean you should find the most dangerous place you can find and go hang out there.  But, it does mean being willing to go wherever God calls.   And that means being willing to pursue the danger and being willing to give up your comfort or security for the sake of something better.  It is not promised that you will be successful or you always will feel great doing it.  But I guarantee that not a single person who gave up their desires or even their life for Jesus are complaining.  Nope, Jesus is worth everything.

So today, I'm letting go.  Letting go of my preconceived notions and letting go of my comfort.  I'm diving into the a sea of the unknown because I want to be able to say to Jesus - I attempted to do as you asked.  My failing or success is ultimately in His hands but if I never try, my failure is on my shoulders. That is not a weight I wish to bear.  He can bear the weight of what will happen, His shoulders can more than handle it.  Ultimately and at the end of the day, I want to please Him.

Routine

One aspect of every single morning for me includes a visit from one of my favorite furry friends, Luke the kitten.  His sister doesn't do this, but Luke and I have a routine.

Richard and I wake up in the morning. Richard gets up and starts getting ready for the day.
I stay in bed.  Luke hops up and cuddles next to me for 20 minutes or so.
I pet him, he purrs, everything is delightful.
I am convinced he enjoys this as much as I do.

I never have trained him to do this.  He started doing it on his own.
Now, I adore my kittens and there is pretty much not a thing they can do that will change that.
Were he to stop, I'd be disappointed but my feelings for my kitten wouldn't change.

I was thinking about how much I treasure our routine today and throughout to myself, how much more does the Lord God of heaven and earth treasure time with His people?

Much more.  I guarantee it.  God is perfect and is love.  So His love is so much more then anything I have to offer to a kitten.  God loves it when we seek His face.  He invites us all throughout scripture.  When Mary and Martha are hosting people at their home.  Martha busy's herself preparing the food and Mary neglects it all to sit at the feet of Jesus.  Martha complains wanting Mary's help, but Jesus affirms Mary's choice as the better choice.  (Luke 10:39-42)

Time with Jesus.  It's the most important relationship you have.  Do you give any of your time to it?
Everyone has 24 hours in a day.
But time spent with Jesus is by far the most precious.

If you aren't, I recommend setting aside time right now to spend with Jesus.
How to do that?  It's easy - it may look different for you on any given day but here are a few good starting points:
Pick up a devotional, allow that to lead your heart to seek God.
Open your bible and read - reflect on what it is you are reading.  Ask the Holy Spirit to give you understanding.
Pray with the intent to both speak and hear from God.
Go for a walk and talk with God along the way.
Put some worship music on and sing to the Lord.

Whatever you do, don't neglect this altogether important routine.  If you are like me, you will intentionally plan to spend time with Jesus and then suddenly find 1,000 things to do first.  This is normal.  No, the 1,000 + things are not more important than this time you've set aside.  Resist the urge to put time off with Him and set aside that time as a daily routine.  Run away from distraction and run to Jesus.

I know that both of you will appreciate the daily routine of connecting.  Trust me, we need time with Him, He is more important than our very breath.

Join me in avoiding living so catastrophically

I've decided that it is best to avoid emotional causing extremist words such as : "always, never, etc." when it comes to predicting the future or describing the past. It seriously never works.

I'm sure you've heard of this.  A friend may say to you, "I can just never get this right", or a family member in frustration declares, "you always do this!".  Oh the fun of stirring the pot emotionally.  The trouble is it rarely solves, assists, or benefits the speaker or the listener and usually just creates bigger emotions on both sides.  

The bible says to live in Today.  That sounds much better to me.  If I lived in yesterday, I would easily blanket paint over everything negatively and say that I never can achieve a goal because I never have before.  But Jesus also invites us to live in the newness of His mercy and grace every day.

So what I was yesterday, is not what I am today, and not what I have to be tomorrow.  We are not prisoners of who we were and have no business becoming prisoners of what we think we will be or not be tomorrow.   Live for today, it is not only healthier it is the grace given to you for the moment.

Yesterday, I became stressed that I could not achieve the goals I have for 2015.  Today, I will choose to do what I can in each moment by the mercy of Jesus Christ.  May the grace of God carry me through until tomorrow.

May His mercy grant you the strength you need for today.

Gift

A tragedy stopped me in my tracks today.
First I prayed for all those hurting.  There was a depth in my heart that felt this pain and so I prayed.
As I continued about my evening, I thought about the impact on so many people.
Yes, one life not present hurts so many.  One more candle light snuffed.  One more family never quite the same.  More friends with a hole that will never quite be filled.  
And while I prayed and yearned for mercy and comfort for this family.
I became aware and grateful for what I have.
Though I am as broken as they come, I am still here.  I get another shot at this thing called life today.  Not because I am particularly special or deserving but because I still have breath.
Yes, I could pull out many things but the most pressing is that in a few minutes I get to look into the eyes of my husband when he returns from work.  Forget for a moment that our schedules exhaust us and stretch our patience.  For a moment, we'll forget about the imperfect and revel in what is right.
Life. Love. Together. Hope.
Oh what gifts.  All of what we have is given by the hand of God.  Yet so often I take it for granted.  Or complain about what is NOT right.  There is so much not right. So many hurting people.  So many frustrations, so many stressors, so many dangers, and difficulties that lie ahead that we may not even be aware of.  But honestly, I don't even have to look beyond myself to see what is not right.  There is so much not right within me.  And all of that will be dealt with.  Thanking God that Christ dealt with what I could never have dealt with and the rest will have their moments.  But only a moment for there is too much good today to dwell in the bad.  I struggle with being upset with the imperfect around me.  But not tonight.  Tonight as I continue to lift up those who are overcome with sorrow.

I will also rest and be grateful for all the good I so often ignore or overlook to rest in my complaints or burdens.  No, not today.  Life is a gift.  I will be grateful.  May we not forget, no matter how dark or trying, the breath we have been given is a gift.

Marriage is:

Marriage is:

Discussion  of things that were formerly yours alone to decide
Compromise for the good of the whole

Sacrifice for love of the other

Investment of time and energy

A lot of hugs and 'I love yous'

Forgiveness on both sides

Humbling admitting needs or faults

Laughter at odd hours of the day

Being willing to do what you don't want to do

An adventure everyday

Imperfect and messy

Accountability for tasks or actions

Building a storage house of inside jokes and memories

Learning and growing together

Worth every ounce of effort 

A glimpse of Christ's love for us.
Beautiful

Day by Day

A calling to join God in his work, however that my look for each individual person, does not negate our close intimate relationship with Him.  He is of utmost importance and calls us to seek after Him.  With all my breath and in all my days, I never want to lose sight of what is far superior over everything else – walking with Him.  It is not walking with him to avoid misstep or to gain wisdom in a situation though that is a part of it, but the joy is walking with Him in the coolness of the day as one journey’s with a friend.  One of my favorite activities with friends is finding a beautiful trail to wander along together while our conversations drift from one topic to another.  This is no different than my treasured moments with The Lord.  This walk is not for the purpose of a destination but a settled enjoyment of one’s friendship with the King of Kings.  It is a return to Eden, a return to perfection, where humans were with God in freedom and enjoyed full access to the relationship with their Creator.

This quiet daily walk will not excite the media and may never make history but it is the quiet walk that I live for.  The world may never know me, but I will revel when my Father in Heaven calls my name.  He is calling to you, will you meet Him today?

© Dainis Derics | Dreamstime Stock Photos

My coloring book

Photo taken from: http://www.art-is-fun.com/free-abstract-coloring-page.html

Life without emotion would be like having a coloring book without any color.  It would seem simply boring, mundane, and overall unbearable.  Yes, any good coloring book has some great designs and perhaps some beautiful images, but color must be added.

As I allow emotions to color my world, I find life to be filled to the brim with excitement, last minute deadlines, frustration, happiness, sadness, and everything in between.  For most of my life, I have colored my life as the equivalent of a toddler with a book.  No matter what the lines said around me, I was intent on scribbling green all over one page and red all over another until a feeling faded and I went onto the next one.

It made for a life filled with color but not always the easiest to manage.  Sometimes I would get stuck on one color, despite having a whole array of colors to use.  That being said, I am learning!

I am learning that while emotions are fun and definitely add splashes to life - they do not define life.  The challenging emotions or even downright awful emotions that come at times help me become aware of my thoughts and feelings on a situation but the emotions do not get to do all the choosing of how I will act or continue feeling.  Why in the world would I just grab at the first crayon that jumps out of a box to use, when there are so many choices?  As an artist and daughter of the most High God who has an ability to think, navigate, and create, shouldn't I choose which colors to use?  Shouldn't I decide where, how, and for what purpose to use them? Absolutely, which is why an emotion that arises does not simply get to rule the moment, instead it must be considered, tested, and controlled.  Trouble is, I'm not sure where the colors belong all the time.  Other times, I'm longing to use a pretty pink crayon but find only broken up blue crayons in my box.  The good Lord helps me find the appropriate crayon or teaches me which one to use and together this disorderly scene turns into absolute beauty.  I still don't always color in the lines but I also don't color strictly sporadically, instead I live a life that has purpose, meaning, and order.  Or at least, that's what I intend.

Together, the Lord and I are making this little life beautiful one page at a time.  As for the pages I've screwed up, mysteriously His beauty and grace makes even those pages look great.  One day this book will be complete and what will be definitive will not be the strayed lines or the pages full of scribbles - but instead the story of His grace will be whispered across each page.  I am an artist, but He is the master artist, and His story will be told.