Rest

When I'm near you, nothing else matters.

It doesn't matter that my blog only has 4 readers.

Nope, it just doesn't.

When I'm near you, my soul finds the true rest that it constantly seeks.

Your love, Your gentle touch, and Your acceptance.

I remember briefly the times when I used to spend hours at your feet

and it was never enough.

Now a few minutes feels like forever and I grow restless.

How things have changed. I am sorry, but you just love me.

You don't ask me to be anything I'm not.

You ask me to bring everything that I am.

The offering is small but I remember the loaves and the fish.

I remember that you can grow a small offering.

So I offer you my heart. It is a small gift, but I pray you would make it grow.

Quit trying

I have spent as long as I can remember TRYING to achieve. I'm about ready to throw that concept out the window and simply start living. Maybe I don't care that I won't be able to keep up with the Jones. So what if everyone I meet is farther along than me....I can't keep up and I'm tired of trying.

What's the point of trying to get somewhere if I can't enjoy any of the ride? Seems a bit futile. I'm about ready to CRAWL out of my skin right now. I feel as if I'm going crazy. I have so many dreams and aspirations that I cannot complete. I am lonelier than ever and running at an inhuman speed...for WHAT?!

I have already been promised eternity by my Savior and Redeemer. Maybe I should start knowing Him. I want heaven to be about truly coming home....I don't want to feel like an outsider.

I used to sit at His feet but then I started getting busy with life. Suddenly life became my focus and I no longer spent any time getting warmed by the fire. My biggest concern is I no longer remember how to quiet my mind, heart, and emotions long enough to get the flame burning. It's cold out here, Jesus please light the fire.

Something you did not know about me! :)

Meet Virginia by Train. I cannot begin to explain my love of this song with you. When I think of Virginia, I think of a woman who so desperately believes she knows what it is she desires but as soon she can grip it, she screams out refuting this very desire. I know this dichotomy well. I have long believed in so many of my own desires but the minute it gets a bit challenging - all I want to do is scream out! "I don't want this! Stop, I do NOT want this!!!! "

Passion! A life lived with perhaps misunderstood passion. The minute I begin to feel melancholy, my heart sings this song and this one particular lyric - "I don't really want to live this life." Not in a depressed fashion..just a frustration factor.

I also really love this song because she is painted so....real. She appears real and is loved within all of her realities - the good and bad. We all should be so lucky to be loved like the singer expresses love for Virginia.

I also think we should all be so brave as to share with the world who we really are. We are all a mixture of beauty and brokenness. I also so desire to share that perfect combo of others with the world. I haven't met a person I really dislike. There are times I dislike how a person gets under my skin and my emotions related to then. But people are so beautiful when they allow you to unfold who they really are. All of the brokenness is simply waiting for the beautiful redemption.

So let's be REAL people. Reality is always always always better than a false perfection.

Jesus loves us in our brokenness. As we lend our hearts to our Redeemer, He brings out the beauty from beneath the ashes of all of our pain, sin, and broken imperfections.

Simple thought on life

If I could share with you just one thing today it would be -

Happiness is not promised today. Face the day with boldness. The joys and sorrows of this life will come and sometimes the pain may catch you by surprise. When the pain creeps in, turn your eyes to your Savior. His grace and love will catch you.

Purposeful Placement

I laughed at a quote the other day that talked about purposely placing yourself in the presence of God. I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I had heard of. After all, God is God. I have no ability to make him draw near to me. But tonight after a crazy day following a crazy few days and straight in the midst of more craziness to come. I made a choice. I needed Him. So I "tuned" into the One who Never leaves my side. I opened my heart to the love that He constantly awaits to give. And at least in this moment- I understand a bit better the concept of purposely placing yourself near Him. It's all about a willing heart. He could choose to not be present but those are the times I need to choose to wait.

God is good. And oh, how He indeed loves us.

Psalm 34:8 - Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

WHOA

What is reality?
Our minds are vast and easily misconstrue.
Why is there so much misunderstanding between people?
Easy: perceptions, actions, and conversations all leave much room for
interpretation.

When our minds go to misleading thoughts - our perceptions go wild with attempts to rationalize and prove our own understandings. Even if they are totally and utterly WRONG!

This is a scary truth. Our lives leave wide open the room for interpretation. There is a TON of room for our minds, emotions, and perceptions to flat out lie to us. Crazy, eh? That's not even including the many lies that our friends and enemies tell us. That doesn't include the lies satan can lead us down.

Listening to these lies will lead us to paths of destruction. Not always death but broken relationships, fears, compromise, unlived potential, and much much more. Haven't you ever experienced a moment where you talked yourself into or out of something? Of course you have- we all have!

I believe the worst lie we can make ourselves believe is that their is no truth, only our understanding and perceptions of reality. This lie has led many people to totally give up the search for truth. For you see, there is truth but it is not found within ourselves. We can never understand truth on our own. Never. Left to our own devices, I would have to agree with this lie - we can never understand real truth.

Praise be to God - there is another way! There is a way out of the confusion, out of the misunderstanding, out of the fear, and out of the darkness. There is an answer out of all this mess. We find the source of truth in John 14:15 - Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Did you catch it? Jesus is truth.

Please listen to me. We must seek Jesus Christ to understand life and our reality. He paved the way for a life free from the lies around us. He is the source of the answers we seek. When life seems dark - turn to him. He will remove your lack of understanding and give you true understanding. The bible talks about this in 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

It is my prayer that we would all begin to live true lives of freedom. The freedom that is found in Christ. The freedom that is found in living in an understanding of truth. There is not enough room in this blog for me to write of this truth. It is found written clearly in the Bible. Right now if you are reading this - please know one thing. What you seek is found in Jesus Christ. He is not a fictional story, He is not a dead man, He is God. He is your source. Ask Him and He will reveal himself to you.

Little Peak into my heart

Mixture of emotions floating down the pipe.
Feeling content and peaceful
wanting more of you.
split second passes, I take a glance around.
Lovers surround me with eyes for one another.
Children fill their quivers, blessings easy to see.
Longings threatens to creep in -
will I ever share this life?
But you are right beside me,
bringing truth to light.
this life is special when shared with you.
Holy Spirit within:
guiding and leading
Drawn to your love,
comforted in your grace.

Now I stand Reminded -
this life is GREAT because of you!