Quit trying

I have spent as long as I can remember TRYING to achieve. I'm about ready to throw that concept out the window and simply start living. Maybe I don't care that I won't be able to keep up with the Jones. So what if everyone I meet is farther along than me....I can't keep up and I'm tired of trying.

What's the point of trying to get somewhere if I can't enjoy any of the ride? Seems a bit futile. I'm about ready to CRAWL out of my skin right now. I feel as if I'm going crazy. I have so many dreams and aspirations that I cannot complete. I am lonelier than ever and running at an inhuman speed...for WHAT?!

I have already been promised eternity by my Savior and Redeemer. Maybe I should start knowing Him. I want heaven to be about truly coming home....I don't want to feel like an outsider.

I used to sit at His feet but then I started getting busy with life. Suddenly life became my focus and I no longer spent any time getting warmed by the fire. My biggest concern is I no longer remember how to quiet my mind, heart, and emotions long enough to get the flame burning. It's cold out here, Jesus please light the fire.