Fiddler

My friend Holly is a remarkably talented musician, teacher, and musical director.  Recently, Richard and I went to go see her latest task - directing the Peawaukee middle schooler's in their production of Fiddler on the Roof.  

This happens to be Richard's favorite musical and I very much enjoy it too.  So besides cheering on Holly's latest achievement, seeing the kids give it their all which is always fun, we also can't ignore a chance to see the show.  

It got me thinking this time though.  The song, Sunrise, Sunset made me reflect on our own marriage. Specifically the lines by Tevye and Golde:

"What words of wisdom can I give them,How can I help to ease their way? Now they must learn from one another, day by day."

There is a lot of truth to that statement for every couple.  We are blessed with wonderful family and wonderful friends but day by day we care for one another.  It's beautiful, messy, sometimes complicated, but forever and always worth it.  We've grown in pointing the other to Christ and understanding better when to help or stand back.  I'm sure we will continue to grow in it as there is always more to learn!  But I wouldn't trade this man for anything. 

Until next time, I'll be here grateful and ever learning what sacrificial love looks like lived out.

6 months since we got married

Dear Richard (an open letter) –

6 months ago, you showed up to our wedding!  I was never worried that you wouldn’t.  You’ve been faithful and committed since the day we decided to start dating (Now 1 year and 18 days ago).  You’ve joined me in living in Janesville, let go of a beloved job, and took a risk by taking another to spend more time with me.  You work hard providing what we need.  You’ve rescued me from myself several times and supported risks that could jeopardize both of our comforts.  You’ve reminded me of the gospel when I forgot.  You stood by my side when I was reasonable and unreasonable.  You gave into my begging and we adopted the two cutest kittens.  Admittedly, it wasn’t that difficult to convince you.  We’ve celebrated holidays with family and spent time with friends.  We've made our little apartment home.  You tell me you love me all the time because you know I need to hear it.  You are kind, thoughtful, quick to forgive, quick to make the first move in resolving an issue, trusting, trustworthy, honest, funny, brilliant, fashionable, and extremely good looking.  You are more then I could have hoped for and way more then I deserve.  

I’m convinced that even amidst the difficulties, stresses, and challenges the last 6 months have brought on.  Life with you is better.  If I had to choose a constant, it’d be you.  If a weeping angel sent you to the past, I'd follow after you without a second thought.  

It’s been a great 6, here’s to another 720+ months. 

Love you.

Letting Go

If you had the chance to succeed at doing nothing or have an uncertain outcome to what you want to do, which would you choose?

It's obvious, isn't it?  Even failing at your own dreams is better than never finding out if you can achieve them, right?

The trouble is so often we choose the first.  We so often refuse to start.  Dreaming without ever putting action to reality is SAFER then venturing out.  Safe is not the same as good.  Safe generally does not get teamed up with the word adventure.  Who really wants to get to the end of their life and say - "I lived too safe, I never took any chances."  Without taking risks we are left with only the mundane.  While many of us may have settled for mediocrity, very few would say they desire to live a mediocre life.  That's why kid's dreams are usually big - they want to be a firefighter, superhero, or a doctor.  How many of us are living our childhood dreams?  A few, true.  But many go onto choose another path.  Sometimes for great reasons, a new calling or dream, but other times because the challenge to getting there is simply not one they are willing to take.  For a long time I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, that is until I decided Science and I wouldn't get a long.  I gave up that dream as quickly as it came when even the slightest adversity hit.  Now, I like what I'm doing now so I'm glad I made that choice.  But I wish I had not given up that dream because I hated science.  I wish I had given it up for the passion of helping people.  

Safe is not what Jesus called us to.  Following Him always means risks.  But it is in the risk of losing everything, you find true life.  Choosing the safe path is often born out of fear.  If you don't believe me, read this parable: Matthew 25:14 - 30.  The parable of the talents.  The "it" Jesus is referring to in verse 14 is the Kingdom of Heaven.

14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants[a] and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents,[b] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.[c] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Investing your life into Jesus' Kingdom will involve risks.  Sure, it doesn't mean you should find the most dangerous place you can find and go hang out there.  But, it does mean being willing to go wherever God calls.   And that means being willing to pursue the danger and being willing to give up your comfort or security for the sake of something better.  It is not promised that you will be successful or you always will feel great doing it.  But I guarantee that not a single person who gave up their desires or even their life for Jesus are complaining.  Nope, Jesus is worth everything.

So today, I'm letting go.  Letting go of my preconceived notions and letting go of my comfort.  I'm diving into the a sea of the unknown because I want to be able to say to Jesus - I attempted to do as you asked.  My failing or success is ultimately in His hands but if I never try, my failure is on my shoulders. That is not a weight I wish to bear.  He can bear the weight of what will happen, His shoulders can more than handle it.  Ultimately and at the end of the day, I want to please Him.

Routine

One aspect of every single morning for me includes a visit from one of my favorite furry friends, Luke the kitten.  His sister doesn't do this, but Luke and I have a routine.

Richard and I wake up in the morning. Richard gets up and starts getting ready for the day.
I stay in bed.  Luke hops up and cuddles next to me for 20 minutes or so.
I pet him, he purrs, everything is delightful.
I am convinced he enjoys this as much as I do.

I never have trained him to do this.  He started doing it on his own.
Now, I adore my kittens and there is pretty much not a thing they can do that will change that.
Were he to stop, I'd be disappointed but my feelings for my kitten wouldn't change.

I was thinking about how much I treasure our routine today and throughout to myself, how much more does the Lord God of heaven and earth treasure time with His people?

Much more.  I guarantee it.  God is perfect and is love.  So His love is so much more then anything I have to offer to a kitten.  God loves it when we seek His face.  He invites us all throughout scripture.  When Mary and Martha are hosting people at their home.  Martha busy's herself preparing the food and Mary neglects it all to sit at the feet of Jesus.  Martha complains wanting Mary's help, but Jesus affirms Mary's choice as the better choice.  (Luke 10:39-42)

Time with Jesus.  It's the most important relationship you have.  Do you give any of your time to it?
Everyone has 24 hours in a day.
But time spent with Jesus is by far the most precious.

If you aren't, I recommend setting aside time right now to spend with Jesus.
How to do that?  It's easy - it may look different for you on any given day but here are a few good starting points:
Pick up a devotional, allow that to lead your heart to seek God.
Open your bible and read - reflect on what it is you are reading.  Ask the Holy Spirit to give you understanding.
Pray with the intent to both speak and hear from God.
Go for a walk and talk with God along the way.
Put some worship music on and sing to the Lord.

Whatever you do, don't neglect this altogether important routine.  If you are like me, you will intentionally plan to spend time with Jesus and then suddenly find 1,000 things to do first.  This is normal.  No, the 1,000 + things are not more important than this time you've set aside.  Resist the urge to put time off with Him and set aside that time as a daily routine.  Run away from distraction and run to Jesus.

I know that both of you will appreciate the daily routine of connecting.  Trust me, we need time with Him, He is more important than our very breath.

Join me in avoiding living so catastrophically

I've decided that it is best to avoid emotional causing extremist words such as : "always, never, etc." when it comes to predicting the future or describing the past. It seriously never works.

I'm sure you've heard of this.  A friend may say to you, "I can just never get this right", or a family member in frustration declares, "you always do this!".  Oh the fun of stirring the pot emotionally.  The trouble is it rarely solves, assists, or benefits the speaker or the listener and usually just creates bigger emotions on both sides.  

The bible says to live in Today.  That sounds much better to me.  If I lived in yesterday, I would easily blanket paint over everything negatively and say that I never can achieve a goal because I never have before.  But Jesus also invites us to live in the newness of His mercy and grace every day.

So what I was yesterday, is not what I am today, and not what I have to be tomorrow.  We are not prisoners of who we were and have no business becoming prisoners of what we think we will be or not be tomorrow.   Live for today, it is not only healthier it is the grace given to you for the moment.

Yesterday, I became stressed that I could not achieve the goals I have for 2015.  Today, I will choose to do what I can in each moment by the mercy of Jesus Christ.  May the grace of God carry me through until tomorrow.

May His mercy grant you the strength you need for today.